Han Solo Entombed
Note: This post is my first attempt at fanfiction….Yes, I’m a “Star Wars” fan… 😀
Han Solo had been entombed in his refrigerator’s door by his once lovely and voluptuous wife Princess Leia. She’d warned him many times that if he went to the Mos Eisley Cantina one more time that he’d experience a cold day like none other he’d ever experienced before, and today she’d made good on her promise. Barndino, Leia’s pet dinosaur, who unlike other dinosaurs in the neighborhood, was quite tame stood vigil in front of the fridge mourning the loss of his master.
“Barndino, I know you’re upset, but Han broke his promise to me for the last time,” she said matter-of-factly. “I’m going to the Cantina. Must be someone there that he found more attractive, but for the life of me, I haven’t a clue who that might be.”
She walked outside to her shiny red cloud car. Reaching the car door, she was stopped by an officer of the local arm of the Jedi Order that she didn’t recognize.
“Ma’m, turn around and go back inside your house,” said the officer.
“I don’t know who you think you’re talking to, but I’m ‘Princess Leia’, and talking to me in that tone of voice is punishable by death,” she said.
“Says right here on this signed complaint by your neighbor that your name is Leia Solo, married to one Han Solo who has not been seen by anyone in the last twelve hours. So I’m asking you respectfully if I may come in and check Mr. Solo’s welfare.”
Leia turned around, ushering the officer inside, closing the door into the kitchen.
The officer moved furniture around as he searched the living room, bedroom, and bathroom. “Mrs. Solo, my order is to search every room. Please show me the kitchen.”
“I don’t think you should look in the kitchen, officer. You see, that’s where our pet dinosaur lives. He’s quite tame and friendly with people he knows, but not so much with strangers.”
The officer opened the kitchen door finding Han Solo entombed in the refrigerator. “Mrs. Solo, you’re under arrest.”
“Officer, you don’t understand, I had no choice! My husband was cheating on me, and when you arrived I was on my way to confront her.”
“Well, I guess it was a good thing I was dispatched here. Otherwise I might be investigating a second missing person.”
Across town, Lando Calrissian had just retrieved his mail and found a summons for jury duty which he would normally try to get out of, but this summons was from the highest court in the land, two days from now. Intrigued, he decided to go even if he wasn’t chosen as a juror.
Leia waited in a holding cell, guarded by two menacing looking characters. Surely they had committed some crime in their lives, she thought.
“Prisoner 0142, get up! It’s your turn to meet the judge!”
She stood, shuffling her feet, coming to grips with the severity of her crime. Entering the court chamber, her eyes scanned the jury box, recognizing Lando Calrissian, believing that only he could save her. “Lando, will you take me away and will you make me your wife???”